Summer Story 2014 - Dangerdust

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straight on til morning - Mirriam Neal

it doesn’t happen all at once. you can’t even remember when it started, but it did. the day came when you looked at something and said, ‘that’s for little kids’ and you never did it again; the day when you cared more about how the world perceived you than about how much fun you were having. you don’t mean for it to happen, it just does. the second star to the right gets dimmer and the world around you gets sharper, spins faster; becomes a watercolor blur of faces you recognize and names you forget, of things you want to do and things you have done, and things you can’t remember doing because you did them so long ago. friends fade from your life and new friends take their place. hopefully, family remains constant. you watch the people around you grow and wonder how they got so old so fast, while the face in the mirror never changes. not that you can see. your taste moves up; from nancy drew to the fault in our stars, and beyond, and then one day you realize you haven’t wanted to read young adult fiction in a week, in two weeks. you have a driver’s license and you have voted. your drawings are true artwork and you are never satisfied with them, and you miss the days when every scribble was a masterpiece. you feel like atlas, with a world of responsibility on your shoulders, and you want to shrug them off but somehow you can’t escape the weight. and then one day, you’re old enough to be young again. you pick up that book you read and re-read as a little kid, or you put in Winnie-the-pooh and remember how happy it makes you. you put olives on your fingertips and you might even step away from the computer and take a walk; feel your hair get hot from the sun and your feet get cool in the grass. you say something that’s on your mind instead of bottling it up. you pretend you see a fairy in the brambles, and maybe you do. you sit on the floor and play chess with your nephew, or make paper airplanes with him, or show him how to draw a new kind of dragon, or tell him stories about worlds trapped inside thrift-store purses. and the second star to the right shines a little brighter.

A Farewell to Vienna - Eiggam

The Tales of Eiggam
November 27, 2013

   This is one of the more difficult posts I’ve had to write. It’s Thursday now and I fly out of Vienna on Friday morning. It’s been a long three months here. I’ve befriended some lovely people and I’ve also met some people I was not very fond of. I have grown apart from some things and have valued other things much more highly. I’m no longer afraid of living in a city, public transportation seems much simpler, and traveling is a breeze. But I’ve also missed my family, getting to see my baby nephew learning his first words, spending Thanksgiving with my extended family and driving a car. 

     I’ve learned a lot here. I’ve learned about history, art, politics, and cultures. I’ve learned about myself. I’ve learned what I care about and what I don’t need. I have had so many experiences that I never would have if I had sat at home. I have stories that fill my head from people I’ve met. I now have lots of material for my writing from this adventure. 

     I did not get as homesick as I imagined I would. It wasn’t until the end that I started longing for it. I think a part of me knew it would be hard to handle if I thought too much about it.

     Vienna is a beautiful city with more charm than you could imagine. But the holiday season is well upon us now and as the song goes, “There’s no place like home for the holidays no matter how far away you roam, when you long for the sunshine of a friendly gaze – for the holidays you can’t beat home sweet home.” So as lovely and delightful as Vienna is, it is not home. It’s felt like home after bad days and long journeys but with the holidays being here I know it is not. I’ve never been away from home at Thanksgiving until today. I’ve always been surrounded by my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, parents and brothers at Thanksgiving. Being away has made me value that time so much more than I had before.

     Packing for Vienna was tough. I was going to a country I had been to with a group of people I didn’t know. I was scared and I had no guarantee what it would be like. Packing for home was bittersweet. I packed up things that were filled with new memories and put them in a suitcase without knowing when I will ever be back. On the other hand, I’m going back to my family, my dogs, my friends, my job, my home, and my country. I have guarantees where I’m going and that’s great. But it was an incredible experience getting to put myself out there and praying everything would work out. I’m so grateful that it did. 

     Vienna, you will always have a special place in my heart. I will be back someday. All my love. 

     Yours until the end of the Internet, 

      Eiggam